


A Little Tomorrow

by sourpastels



Category: All For the Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad French, Birthday, Canon-Typical Violence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-26 17:31:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6249049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sourpastels/pseuds/sourpastels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Jean Moreau hated his birthday, and one time he didn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Little Tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on tumblr for Jean's birthday (3rd of March) but it did pretty well over there so I decided to post it here too.  
> Credit for the Knox family and their home belongs to the amazing people over at exyspacegays on tumblr and you should definitely check that blog out! 
> 
>  
> 
> _“It's amazing how a little tomorrow can make up for a whole lot of yesterday.”_  
>  ― John Guare, Landscape of the Body

I.

The first birthday Jean remembers is his fifth, or maybe his sixth. It was the sort of age where people really became aware of birthdays. He didn’t remember all of it, just fragments. He remembers that around that age other kids would bring in cake to class and invite twenty or so of their friends back to their parents house to play games and eat piles of sugar that none of them would be allowed on any other day. 

Jean had come to class empty handed. When he’d asked his parents if he could have people over he’d been met with a firm no and no explanation. That night his father had gone out to do business without so much as a “happy birthday”. Looking back on it he didn’t want to know what kind of business his parents did under the Moriyama’s thumb all their lives. He knew that it would be unpleasant at best and sickening at worst.

Still, it was far from the worst birthday Jean had, though the memory of it got more and more bittersweet each year until now it was just bitter. Bitterness at his parents for selling him as if he was property rather than their son. Bitterness at the world for the fact that even one of his few good memories was marred with the bad.

It was a good memory in places though. His classmates had sung happy birthday to him, he couldn’t remember most of their names but he could remember that. After his father had left his mother had brought him a cupcake with a single candle in it and stroked his hair with a weak smile as he blew it out. His sister had toddled into his room and gave him a drawing. It was just crayon scribbles, she couldn’t have been more than three years old at the time. Even so he had kept it in a drawer next to his bed until he’d been shipped off to Evermore.

He thought about his sister a lot, far more often than he let himself think about either of his parents. He wondered how she was doing. He wondered if she still asked about him. He wondered if maybe she’d been young enough that over the years their parents had managed to convince her that she’d never even had a brother. That last thought was like a crushing weight on his lungs, because he knew it was far too possible.

II.

Jean spent his eleventh birthday playing Exy at Castle Evermore. He didn’t know why he was there. His parents had called it some kind of audition. It must have been a big deal, they’d drove for hours to get there, but when he asked anything more he was met with stony silence from the front of the car. He quickly forgot about asking questions when they walked on to the court, he was too in awe to care why he was there.

Jean liked Exy. He’d been playing for a few years already and he was good at it too if you asked his coaches. The man watching Jean play from the side of the court had been introduced to him as Coach Moriyama. Jean thought he was an odd choice for a coach, he was wearing heavy black instead of the sports gear Jean was used to, and apart from yelling out a few orders he mostly just watched Jean play with an unreadable expression. Stranger still was that everyone playing seemed to refer to him as “The Master” rather than “Coach”. Jean didn’t care about any of that once he had a racquet in his hands though. He was playing with two boys who seemed to be around his age and a bunch of older people and the game was fast paced and wild from the get go.

Jean had thought that it was the best birthday present his parents had ever given him until they never came back.

“Why do you have numbers drawn on your faces?” Jean asked.

The game had been over for twenty minutes now. Jean was exhausted and ready to leave, but his parents had disappeared with the man they called the master and none of them had returned yet.

“Because I’m the best.” The first boy answered “That’s why I have a number one.” He said this like it was a fact, and he sounded much older than eleven even though he didn’t look it.  
“So what does that make you? Second best?” Jean asked, scrunching his nose up in confusion. He was addressing the other kid, but the first boy spoke again before he could open his mouth.  
“Yeah, Kevin’s second best.” He said, like it was also a fact “You can be third best, if you want.”  
“Um, no thanks?” Jean offered, still confused and a little uncomfortable.  
The boy just smiled like he knew something Jean didn’t and said “You don’t have a choice.” 

_Fact._

Jean felt a chill of fear go through him, but he refused to let this boy get to him. He looked back to the door for his parents but instead he saw Coach Moriyama walking in alone. Jean knew something was wrong then, but he tried to convince himself otherwise as he ran over there.

“Where are my parents?” Jean demanded.  
“Hmm? Oh, of course-” Moriyama was smiling, but it was a cold smile that unsettled Jean “They left.”  
“They can’t just leave me here!” Jean protested.  
“Of course they can. They owed my family a debt, you were their payment. You belong to me now.” 

Jean wanted to deny it, but he couldn’t ignore the sinking feeling in the back of his mind that it was true as he put the pieces together. Anger and denial were like a war inside his chest. He didn’t know what to believe or what to do. 

“But- It’s my birthday.” Jean let out finally in tear coated anger.  
“Oh, child, learn you place. Property doesn’t have birthdays.” The point was empathized with a sharp hit to his cheekbone “and don’t take that tone with me again.”

III.

Jean’s sixteenth birthday present was sixteen stitches. He didn’t know if Riko had specifically planned his injuries that way or if that number was just a cruel coincidence. Either way he had spent half his birthday getting beaten and was spending the other half getting fixed up so that he wouldn’t bleed out before practice tomorrow. Not that bleeding out was what Jean was afraid of, what he was afraid of is what Riko would do about his poor performance if he survived the night. 

Kevin sat next to him as he got stitched up. Neither of them said a word. Today wasn’t anything special, not in Kevin’s eyes and not in Jean’s anymore either. He had gotten used to the torture Riko inflicted, today wasn’t even so bad compared to some of the other things Riko had put him through. Birthdays didn’t mean anything to Jean anymore, maybe the master was right, birthdays didn’t matter when you were property.

The nurse just nodded when he could go. Jean had wondered before how they’d found a medical staff who were willing to not only put up with but to hide the things that went on in the nest, but he’d long stopped questioning it. He got to his feet and stumbled, muscles screaming in protest, but before he could fall Kevin had looped an arm around Jean’s back to keep him steady. He wanted to push Kevin off and tell him hat he didn’t need his help or his pity, but he was too exhausted to try.

Jean allowed Kevin to walk him back to his room in silence. Jean let Kevin lead the way, it was hard to see where you were going through two swollen eyes and the canopy of darkness that was the nest. Jean may be used to the beatings but he didn’t think he’d get used to the unending black no matter how long he stayed down here. He missed the light, he missed the sun beaming on his skin, and most of all he missed being able to gaze up at the stars. 

He was pulled away from his thoughts when Kevin stopped outside his door. Without something to focus on the pain of his injuries came crashing back, so he focused on Kevin instead. This wasn’t the first time Kevin had had to help him back to his room, though it was rare, and normally he would just leave Jean here. Tonight he seemed to be hesitating. He looked like he wanted to say something, but Jean had no idea what, it couldn’t be “happy birthday” because even if Kevin remembered, you didn’t wish somebody covered in stitched and bruises a happy anything, except maybe a recovery. Jean was never going to recover, because Riko was never going to stop, they both knew that. 

In the end Kevin didn’t say anything. He just gripped Jean’s shoulder lightly before walking away. Jean didn’t know exactly what it meant, but he appreciated it anyway.

IV.

Jean’s first birthday after Kevin left the the nest was by far one of the worst He’d gotten used to having Kevin around over the years. He wouldn’t call him a friend, there were no friends down here, but he was the softer side to Riko’s cruelty. He wouldn’t lift a finger to stop Riko from hurting Jean, but he’d been there after, and Jean didn’t realize how much he’d actually appreciated that until he was gone.

Still, it wasn’t Kevin’s lack of presence itself that made that birthday one of the worst, it was what it did to Riko. The couple of months since Kevin had disappeared had been a blur of blood and bruises and torture techniques that only got more creative by the day. Jean didn’t even notice it was his birthday that year, all he could focus on was curling up against the pain and trying to survive.

V.

Jean’s birthday a year later was the same as every other day, what was far more unusual were the days that came after. A few days after Jean turned twenty one, Kengo Moriyama died, leaving behind a criminal empire and a son who had never known his approval. Jean had known what would happen as soon as he heard the news, and as Riko turned on him all he could do was hope that this time Riko would finally kill him.

When Renee came for him a few hours later, he thought that he must really be dead, because the only way he could escape the nest was in heaven. But if this was heaven then why did everything hurt. There wasn’t supposed to be any pain after death, especially not this excruciating.

He couldn’t remember why everything hurt so much. He knew that the obvious answer was Riko, but when he tried to recall what had happened this time all that came back was fragments. A punch, a blade, blows designed to inflict pain with no plan or precision behind them. 

“Why are you here?” He asked Renee as he was bundled into her car. The words sounded distorted to his own ears and he wasn’t entirely sure they were in English, but she seemed to understand him just fine.  
“You text me, Jean.” She responded gently.

Jean didn’t remember that either. He wondered if he had some sort of concussion or if his trauma had finally started to bleed through the cracks.

“Where are you taking me?” He asked instead.  
“Somewhere where we can take care of you.” 

Jean wanted to tell her that there was no point. That staying was safer than running away and being dragged back, but he could feel his eyes closing against his will and he didn’t get the chance. 

+I

Jean woke up to the sun streaming through the blinds and the sounds of hushed voices outside. It took him a moment before he opened his eyes, a moment to convince himself that the past year hadn’t been a dream and he wasn’t still trapped in the nest and this was real. It took him another moment to remember where he was. 

He was at Jeremy’s house, he realised. He knew by now what their guest house looked like, he had stayed here last summer before starting at USC. Once he was healed there was nothing for him at Palmetto state and doing nothing had been unbearable, so Jeremy had offered to let him stay with him so that he could get to know the Trojan’s captain before he started on their court. 

Jeremy had brought him back here for the weekend. He knew why, over the past few weeks Jean’s panic attacks and nightmares were worse than ever, he was on edge on the court and silent off of it. Jeremy had asked him what was wrong, but Jean didn’t know how to explain that birthdays weren’t a good time for him, it sounded pathetic even to his own ears. Besides, he wasn’t even sure that Jeremy knew it was his birthday. So Jeremy had asked if he wanted some time away and had taken him here at the earliest opportunity. 

Jean had agreed because he liked it here at Jeremy’s, a farm affectionately called Fort Knox by the entire family. And by the entire family he meant a lot of people, because Jeremy’s family was huge and loving. It had been a lot to adjust to when he’d stayed here over the summer, Jean’s real family had never been like this and the Raven’s were close but far from loving. But Jeremy and his family had been patient and caring as he’d lashed out and hid from them, and a year later he was happy to be back here. 

Jean slid out of bed and pulled on some clothes, a pair of jeans and a brightly colored sweater he was pretty sure Jeremy had sneaked into his wardrobe, and went to investigate the voices outside. He was expecting to find the entire family out there judging from the noise, but by the time he got there the voices had died down and only Millie, Jeremy's thirteen year old sister, was there. She was standing like she was waiting for him.

“What’s going on?” He asked her.  
“C'est une surprise.” She answered with a smile.  
He smiled at how good her French was getting, but he was still confused.  
“What kind of surprise?”  
“That would ruin the surprise.” She rolled her eyes at him “Just come on.” 

He followed Millie through the farm, past the chickens and the goats and through a small gate. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting to find there, but he ended up in a garden full of brightly colored flowers and the entire Knox family smiling up at him. They were sat on a checked blanket with a picnic basket in front of them, it looked like _family_ , except they all seemed to be waiting for him.

“Surprise!” Millie said.  
“…What?” Jean asked.  
“Well, It’s your birthday. I knew you wouldn’t want a huge party or anything, but I- we, we all wanted to do something for you.” Jeremy explained, getting up from his place on the blanket and walking over to Jean.  
“I- I how did you know?” Jean said, still trying to take in what was happening.  
“Kevin told me, he says happy birthday.” Jeremy explained “Is this okay?”  
“It’s…thank you.” Jean said, trying to hide the tears in his eyes, he realised that for the first time in his life they were happy ones.

Later that night when the rest of the Knox family had gone inside and it was just him and Jeremy left on the blanket, watching the stars, Jean thought that from now on maybe birthdays could actually be worth looking forward to.


End file.
